Malignant Self-Love/Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Sam Vaknin Revisited
For a survivor's view of Sam Vaknin's "Therapy" by "Invicta":
As noted on the previous page, Narcissism On the Internet, I was targeted by an Internet psychopath; he was practiced in manipulating someone into loving him. The relationship resembled a cult of two. The brainwashing and manipulation were subtle and insidious- when one becomes vulnerable, when someone penetrates your defences, or you have few defences, it is easy then to begin an onslaught of mental rape.
The one thing that I didn't expect, when I sought support online, was to end up the survivor of not one, but two online psychopaths, not to mention a myriad assortment of fanatics on the support group most heavily associated with him- the cult groupies, the cult followers (not the unsuspecting innocents). I have written about my group experience on that page with some pertinent links.
New facts keep coming to light. They were always there, I imagine, but were largely ignored. But no longer. I have felt for a long time that Sam Vaknin and his book, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited, were meant to engender a cult following, among other things. He even attests to this and other views about victims, healing, and his hatred for Americans in the following interview: Natterbox Interview With Sam Vaknin
Some Vaknin Quotes
I, therefore, am doubtful not only with regards to the prognosis of a narcissist but also with regards to the healing prospects of those exposed to his poisoned charms.
I am by far the most intelligent person I know, so, the deep-seated belief that others are bumbling, ineffectual fools is a constant feature of my mental landscape.
The book was never intended to help anyone. Above all, it was meant to attract attention and adulation (narcissistic supply) to its author, myself. Being in a guru-like status is the ultimate narcissistic experience.
Well, what else is new?
Suffering tremendously from the mental rape of an Internet psychopath, knowing that most therapists would not understand (and I could not afford one) I joined Sam Vaknin's board with a psyche like hamburger. At the time, it was the only board around. Over time the games began, and the capricious deletions and many people got hurt. Instead of being in a place of healing, I was in a war zone. I was also, it turns out, deceived and misled, not realising that there was a cultish following.
When you're hamburger, you don't think as clearly,you just want to know you're not alone. I am a mental health professional and you'd think that we would know better, but let me tell you, when you are wounded beyond belief, all your training means nothing. Some people were wonderful on that site, but they left. That's why I started my own site, but didn't include a board. Just some fair and objective information, partly to counteract the dreck. I never imagined that unmasking a fraud would be part of my healing journey. Sometimes, Providence has a strange sense of humour.
I also felt very humbled. For I was dealing with a sadistic psychopath/sociopath and Sam Vaknin's views fed right into that; to realise that helps you grasp how out of control your life really is. He wasn't talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Mr Vaknin is trying to reform "Narcissism" into an all-encompassing explanation for all bad behaviour, blurs distinctions between the Personality Disorders, and collapses the uniqueness and severity of the disorder for each person into a single [malevolent] entity. In effect, it seemed to me that Sam Vaknin was recreating "Narcissism" and NPD in his own image, according to his worldview. Which means it is not simply narcissism, nor is it NPD. According to the author, it is not anything remotely recognisable as Narcissistic Personality Disorder as he knows it.
My feeling is that, in effect, Sam Vaknin was drawing in vulnerable victims, desperately looking for answers, sometimes easy answers, and recreating them in his own image, inoculating them with his hatred and alienation, and creating a world view where things are worse than imagined, instead of better; it is a world of paranoia, where, in effect, there are monstrous "Ns" under every bush.
I speak as one who, at first, believed a lot of this stuff. He has pathologised almost everyone in every manner. So how can any true healing take place for any of us if we are misled and misinformed- imo, his version of healing, if he had one, is that everyone see it his way. Just like a cult leader wannabe. And his answer against accountability would be, "you knew what I was, so you have only yourself to blame for 'x'".....
Invicta 8/12/03
Update: 8/13/03 I just discovered this information in an article by a forensic psychologist which can be found in toto, here: http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/psychology/psychopath/1.html?sect=19
In 1970, Otto Kernberg pointed out that the antisocial personality was fundamentally narcissistic and without morality. He called it malignant narcissism, which included a sadistic element. That self-love is central seems correct but this conception failed to go very far with clinicians who needed practical instruments.
The article is a fascinating and rigorous delineation of the history of attempts to define psychopathy and to predict it. Robert Hare's instrument has the most validity and incorporates Kernberg's conception of a narcissistic component.
It reinforces my belief that a "malignant narcissist" in effect resembles a sadistic psychopath and that that is the construct Sam Vaknin's book describes and explains, not Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
by Invicta
17 Comments:
hi there,
i too recently (yesterday) was attacked by the moderators on that MSN NPD board for questioning Sam Vaknin's motives, credentials, etc. it was a respectful post, and some of the board members felt as I did. femfree, the main moderator/manager of that board, posted and said something like "Dr. Sam's bio should tell you everything you need to know. isn't it just great that we have this resource so readily available to us?!"
seriously, my whole point in posting that was to get a discussion going about Sam Vaknin, and if anyone could give me more information about him, as I expressed i felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of an N forming the paradigm everyone was basing their healing process on, especially when i'd only seen him quote himself, and he never seemed to cite any sort of scientific evidence. i asked anyone to show me evidence he'd used scientific evidence or studies, or evidence of him citing someone who really was a professional mental health care provider since i'd never been able to find such evidence myself.
Vaknin's bio illustrated he's a fraud, and even spent time in an Israeli prison due to financial fraud (although he claims he was trying to overthrow the bank of agriculture or something...like he's some sort of revolutionary).
on the board, i suggested perhaps there might be a conflict of interest there, and that perhaps Mr. Vaknin was being a little predatory. i also said i'd been helped a lot by Mr. Vaknin's writings, that they helped explain a lot about my past experiences with Ns, but that i still felt weird just taking his word for it, considering the above information.
i got completely ostracized. the moderators (namely "femfree" and "matilda") accused me of being "divisive", told me i could "find another board if i didn't like Sam Vaknin", and some other board member accused me of having a "secret agenda" to try and "destabilize the board members" and to "slanderize" "Dr. Vaknin". it freaked me out and didn't respond anymore. the thread was frozen. i then deleted everything i wrote, and then the entire thread was deleted. i deleted my membership from the board. it was quite traumatizing. here i was, trying to get some healing and knowledge of this disorder, only to find myself in some sort of cult.
i was trying to find a different board to join for survivors of relationships with Ns, so i requested to join the N-partners MSN board. i was denied. after researching i found that femfree moderates that board, too. so she denied me on that board simply because i had some disturbing questions about Sam Vaknin?? that really hurt me, too.
after researching more and more, i found that most of these boards are moderated by femfree or Sam Vaknin himself. i mean come on: here is a known fraud who is probably a psychopath AND a narcissist, who is moderating all of these support boards for those who've suffered at the hands of Ps and Ns??? something's extremely wrong with this picture. or, femfree is the moderator, or at least an active member....it's like there's no getting away from either of them. and then after researching femfree some more, i saw that thing about how femfree had been signing on as a different member of one of these groups and plugging femfree's big long essay on NPD, saying how much it helped her and how great the article was, when it was femfree herself all along (it was the same IP address as femfree's). so femfree has got some really messed up personality disorder going on, herself.....it even crossed my mind that she's Sam Vaknin.
anyway, how horrible that the victims of Ns have very few truly safe places to go to heal online. i think i've found a board that's legit, run by a well-known psychologist...the people there don't seem so brainwashed.
just thought i'd share my experience with anyone who might be interested. thanks.
waaait a second...this was originally written by someone with the online name of "Invicta", but i don't think you're the same person as "Invicta". so are you plagiarizing her here?
"Anonymous," please notice that Invicta is credited for the material. But perhaps, instead of as she wrote it, we can fix it for slow readers and put her handle at the top.
Also, you might want to look up the definition of "plagiarize" in the dictionary before you go bandying it about. It is loose screws like you that make it so easy for evil to spread in this world.
except for the fact that Invicta wasn't cited yesterday, and suddenly she is today? i did several "edit->finds" yesterday to try to find her name in the text anywhere on the face page or the full article, and it was not to be found. nice try...i think it's obvious how "evil" gets spread in this world...by people who lie, and then lie to cover up their lies, and then treat someone as if they're crazy or stupid for pointing out the lie. i see who the "psychopath" is here. i fully expect you won't allow this comment to be posted. just know there's someone out there who has seen through your BS.
Anonymous wrote:
"except for the fact that Invicta wasn't cited yesterday, and suddenly she is today? i did several "edit->finds" yesterday to try to find her name in the text anywhere on the face page or the full article, and it was not to be found. nice try...i think it's obvious how "evil" gets spread in this world...by people who lie, and then lie to cover up their lies, and then treat someone as if they're crazy or stupid for pointing out the lie. i see who the "psychopath" is here. i fully expect you won't allow this comment to be posted. just know there's someone out there who has seen through your BS."
Sorry, not even a good try. A simple google search will prove that you either don't know how to do a text search or you are the one who is lying. What you are attempting to do is actually called "reversive blockade", and is a typical tactic of the psychopath.
Anyway, if you do said google search, simply type in "invicta ponerology vaknin" (without the quotes, of course).
You will get the link to the page. You will also see a link to a cached version of the page. On the cached version, google will inform you that it retrieved the page - remember, it was found by using the search term "invicta" - on 20 July 2007.
You can click to see the FULL cached page, which I did. What's more, I took a screen shot of the page and converted it to PDF.
The following links are to the images I made as I proceeded through the chain of evidence process.
http://signs-of-the-times.org/images/invicta_vaknin.jpg
http://signs-of-the-times.org/images/invicta_ponerology.jpg
And here is the full text pdf image of the article as it existed on the above mentioned dated, taken from google's cache.
http://quantumfuture.net/Ponerology_The_Science_of_Evil_2006-02-12.pdf
Now, let's look again at your disingenuous little attempt at reversive blockade:
"except for the fact that Invicta wasn't cited yesterday, and suddenly she is today?"
LIE.
"i did several "edit->finds" yesterday to try to find her name in the text anywhere on the face page or the full article, and it was not to be found."
Either a LIE, or gross incompetence.
"nice try...i think it's obvious how "evil" gets spread in this world...by people who lie, and then lie to cover up their lies, and then treat someone as if they're crazy or stupid for pointing out the lie."
Indeed, that is how evil gets spread in this world: by people like you who lie and then lie to cover up their lies and then treat someone as if they are crazy or stupid for pointing out the lie.
In this case, you are the liar, I am telling the truth, the facts and chain of evidence support that; so what does that make you?
"i see who the "psychopath" is here."
You must be looking in the mirror.
"i fully expect you won't allow this comment to be posted. just know there's someone out there who has seen through your BS."
Wrong again. Another typical tactic of the psychopath is to blame the victim for what they do themselves.
If the shoe fits...
i did go to those links, and looked up the cache myself, and saw that "Invicta" was down toward the bottom, but hidden in the middle of the text, as it was in Invicta's original article. and i do see that your second commenter on this blog appears to believe you wrote this article yourself. ("bravo on your excellent observations and evenhandedness...").
if i did miss the "Invicta 8/12/03" somehow, i apologize. i did do an "edit-> find" and it did not find it, i looked everywhere before simply asking you if you'd plagiarized this article.
just because i asked you if you'd plagiarized the article does not make me a psychopath, nor does it make me a "slow reader" or a "loose screw". it was an honest question.
i don't think that you have the credentials to be diagnosing people. and certainly anyone who was a professional wouldn't diagnose someone after one comment they made or question they asked in a blog online.
i also don't understand why you are using Invicta's article on this blog when you had this to say of her:
http://www.signs-of-the-times.org/signs/forum/viewtopic.php?id=288
...accusing Invicta of being a narcissist/psychopath herself:
"So, it looks like the whole psychopathy/narcissism issue is now the purview of narcissists and psychopaths out there doing what they do best: twist, distort and confuse."
you posted Invicta's article in this blog on the exact same day you posted that up there to indicate she's some kind of psychopath herself: 02/12/06. i think that's pretty odd. it would make a heck of a lot more sense if you'd refuted Invicta's article if you think she's this psychopath/narcissist...but you posted it as if you fully agreed with it, and didn't clearly cite it so it looked like you wrote it yourself.
>>>>Anonymous said...
i did go to those links, and looked up the cache myself, and saw that "Invicta" was down toward the bottom, but hidden in the middle of the text, as it was in Invicta's original article. <<<<<
Which is exactly what I said. To remind you: ""Anonymous," please notice that Invicta is credited for the material. But perhaps, instead of as she wrote it, we can fix it for slow readers and put her handle at the top.Please notice that there are a number of other articles posted on this blog that are not BY the owners of the blog. Whenever that is the case, we post them AS WE FIND THEM, assuming the authors to be the best arbiter of how they want to be presented. For example:
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/2007/02/catherine-austin-fitts-ignota-nulla.html
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/2007/02/carolyn-baker-science-of-evil-and-its.html
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/2007/07/ron-paul-online-audio-psychopaths-run.html
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/2006/01/paul-craig-roberts-gestapo.html
http://www.buzzflash.com/analysis/06/01/ana06001.html
"Invicta" seems to have wished to maintain a "low profile," so we considered that as a matter of courtesy. However, (and again check your google cache, you should notice, as is standard procedure when re-posting articles, the original WAS LINKED in the title. (Go ahead, put your mouse over the title and see that it is a clickable link to Invicta's page.) There were also other links retained in the piece that also went back to Invicta's original postings.
In other words, according to net protocols, all care was taken to reproduce the article as found, with proper links and attribution. Perhaps you are not familiar with such things?
>>>> and i do see that your second commenter on this blog appears to believe you wrote this article yourself. ("bravo on your excellent observations and evenhandedness..."). <<<<<
So what? Do you know that this reader was NOT writing those words to Invicta? Are you a mind reader now?
>>>>> if i did miss the "Invicta 8/12/03" somehow, i apologize. i did do an "edit-> find" and it did not find it, i looked everywhere before simply asking you if you'd plagiarized this article.That's not a very polite way to ask a person anything. <<<<<
As I said, you really ought to check that word in the dictionary.
>>>>> Plagiarize: to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own : use (another's production) without crediting the source.
intransitive verb : to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source. <<<<<
By now, you should be able to see that this was never the case. The attribution was left as Invicta made it. We gave him/her credit for knowing how he/she wanted to be represented, and made sure that proper links were included. Net protocols were followed.
>>>>> just because i asked you if you'd plagiarized the article does not make me a psychopath, nor does it make me a "slow reader" or a "loose screw". it was an honest question. <<<<<<<
I’ll take you at your word for the moment. If it was an "honest" question, it was an extremely ignorant one and ignorance is over half the problem with the ponerization of society. The U.S. Secret State has spent over 50 years dumbing down the U.S. populace so as to be better able to control them, and you seem to be a prime example of this process. Not only are your language skills lacking, your communication skills are deplorable.
>>>>>>>> i don't think that you have the credentials to be diagnosing people. and certainly anyone who was a professional wouldn't diagnose someone after one comment they made or question they asked in a blog online. <<<<<<<<
Notice that I wasn't "diagnosing," I was giving you a taste of your own "medicine." Feels different when the shoe is on the other foot, doesn't it? As for my credentials, you are correct, I am not a professional psychologist/psychiatrist. However, we have several professionals in those fields, including scientific researchers at well-know universities on staff within QFG. All material that we publish passes through review processes.
>>>>>> i also don't understand why you are using Invicta's article on this blog when you had this to say of her:
http://www.signs-of-the-times.org/signs/forum/viewtopic.php?id=288...accusing Invicta of being a narcissist/psychopath herself:
"So, it looks like the whole psychopathy/narcissism issue is now the purview of narcissists and psychopaths out there doing what they do best: twist, distort and confuse." <<<<<<
Again, your reading and communication skills are creating problems for you. Please notice what immediately precedes the remark that you have quoted out of context. The context is:
>>>>> If you go here: http://groups.msn.com/NarcissismSupport … links.msnw
you will see a list of sites they DO link to and/or recommend. You will notice my transcriptions listed there again, but another thing you will see is this: "Cults and Brainwashing" with a link to that psychopath posing as a cult-deprogrammer, Rick Ross; pal of Vinnie Bridges and the rest of the cyber thugs.
So, it looks like the whole psychopathy/narcissism issue is now the purview of narcissists and psychopaths out there doing what they do best: twist, distort and confuse. <<<<<
The reference was to Sam Vaknin, Femfree, et all. Indeed, I remarked on Invicta's "confusion," previous to that, but that confusion is to be expected when one has been victimized by pathological deviants as he/she has been. What I was doing was supporting what Invicta had to say about Vaknin, which you seem to have missed entirely due to your lack of reading/communication skills.
>>>>> you posted Invicta's article in this blog on the exact same day you posted that up there to indicate she's some kind of psychopath herself: 02/12/06. <<<<<
Again, let me repeat that your assumptions are so ignorant they take my breath away. Gee, everything you write is full of assumptions that you know something and are sure of something, but for some strange reason, you don't manage to get either your facts or your assessments straight. That is generally a result of having been subjected to pathological material and thought processes all your life. If you are not pathological yourself, you might as well be since the result is the same.
>>>>> i think that's pretty odd. it would make a heck of a lot more sense if you'd refuted Invicta's article if you think she's this psychopath/narcissist...but you posted it as if you fully agreed with it, <<<<<
I did post it because I fully agreed with it. I wouldn't have posted it otherwise. Gee, you almost made it to a real fact! Why should I refute Invicta's article when my point was exactly what Invicta wrote, and as I phrased it in support of what he/she wrote: "the whole psychopathy/narcissism issue is now the purview of narcissists and psychopaths out there doing what they do best: twist, distort and confuse."
Unfortunately, as I mentioned on the forum post, Invicta has also been confused to some extent and, as a consequence, seems to have given up the fight.
>>>>>and didn't clearly cite it so it looked like you wrote it yourself. <<<<<<<<<
We've covered that. The original was cited as found in the original, and linked and there was NO hint of anyone else "taking credit" for it.
I hope you have learned a bit about yourself and your faulty reading machine/thinking processes here. At the same time, I DO wonder why you are so emotionally invested in Invicta? Do you know him/her personally?
Do you also see how much time has been taken explaining very basic things to you that are clearly understood by the majority of readers and other "netizens", and that perhaps you need to "get up to speed" pretty quick if you are going to be able to comprehend anything in this increasingly complex world not the least of which is your own susceptibility to ponerization?
I would not trust Sam Vaknin, I make a point not to read his shite.
I did read some things early on, but very quickly saw that his main motive is being seen.
I don't think that helps anyone, least of all targets of N's.
"so femfree has got some really messed up personality disorder going on, herself.....it even crossed my mind that she's Sam Vaknin."
I recently had the same thought.
^typical narcissist
I was on the Vamkin board and had a run in with Matilda...my very first post. quite nasty adn unfeeling..never bothered to reply to her, infact the moderators on that board are pretty nasty and ignore them as much as I can to stick to regular people
I also ignore Vamkins post because if you have been with an N, the last thing you want to do is have any kind of contact with an N even online
Ns are good at inciting some kind of protection their followers..I saw this in my relationship, where friends hardly speak to you or look at you wierdly
In fact Vamkin explains a lot of things that made sense in my N relationship..Of course I scour the internet for other information but he seems to be everywhere, you have to know what helps you and waht to avoid..
Invicta, I read her board but she seems to think she is also the Guru on Ns..so I cnat help to think if her attacks on Camkin are perosnal in that she wants to be the ONE..i really dont agree with her warnings on all the sites she posted..I read all those and I made up my mind what I believe and compared to what I have been true
In the end not even a mentla proeffesional or an N can describe your experiences to you..all I know is that none of them ever met me , yet they were able to describe my relationship accurately...
It doenst mean I am ever going to engage in any kind of relationship with a self procalimes N or start worshipping his words...I respect his words because it makes sense, just as I respect some of invicta's comments
oh and finally vamkin really wants supply , he does a good job of describing it, if you read hi sshite as you put it k you will learn not to interact with the guy at any level..he is not doing this out of the goodness of his heart, he wants to be known and seen and be glorifieD
Victims hate him and narcissist hate him for telling them they cant change...what a life!
I was involve with NPD Man big time. I have nearly died, but - he knew what he was doing, at let me off just in time to survive alive.. Saving me for future, perhaps? During 1,5 years of me been a Supply - and so god and generous Supply i was! -and trying to communicate to him, i wrote around 700 poems. I have published 2 books, 2 more are in the pipe-line. Two composers started to write music for my verses. I perform a show now with jazz trio... His ultimate usage of me had such an impact that it changed the landscape of my life.
Loss of him is hardly bearable.No one makes me to feel how i felt with him. But - I will use for my own benefit what i have created exclusively for him. I will simply sell it. Started already! And - will not share with him the profits. Will keep him my virtual inspiration and will learn how to NOT TO SUPPLY if he'll be back for more.
I'll keep my distance, will bleed forever, but i wouldn't miss this relationship for the world. I've learned so much about myself!
Explain me that! Am i a victim?..
ff & Vaknin are evil
I too had been on the forum for victims of N's.... only to be banned by the moderator 'matilda'. I read with complete disbelief what she had to say. I got the distinct impression that she/he is completely insane and has no life other than dictating how to behave via that forum... She/he accused me of having no empathy and then behaved as if she/he had none either!!! LOL!!! Imagine getting advise from someone that nasty. A lucky escape indeed!
I had a run in with Matilda too! Again, like some of you here, I didn't agree with her! She is a very nasty person. I sent an email to Windsong about Matilda's "rudeness" and got NO response back. I posted one last time to defend myself and of course, my defense post was deleted. So I tried to go back and remove all of my posts from the site and found I was banned. I thought also at that time that she too is a Narcissist herself! She sure throws a lot of projections out there and then accuses others of the "projecting". NASTY LADY, VERY NASTY! I still read there from time to time because I want to keep up with some of the members "situations" and I have noticed that Matilda has not been around for a month or so. I hope she is gone. People who are truly hurting and looking for help should not be attacked by a rude moderator. She really thinks she is all that! She needs to get a real life! Anyone that moderates for more than one board and pisses off members on a regular basis has no life outside of the cyberworld. Just my opinion!
I too was on the MSN NPD site during the 'Matilda season.' Based on the comments and the followup rhetoric, it was my belief that Gabrielle and Matilda were one and the same. They both disappeared off the board at the same time. This was followed by an apology by Femfree, Windsong and the other moderators who indicated that sometimes Narcissists and 'troubled persons' stalk those forums.
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